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Bob Knight Said What?

The last time Bob Knight surprised us this profoundly, the IU bench ended up being short one chair. A decade after being fired by the university—and basically refusing to mention the place ever again—Knight, in accordance with his ESPN broadcasting responsibilities, will call Monday night’s game against Georgia. As many outlets have mentioned, it probably won’t amount to much. But the reunion had us reminiscing about some of the man’s best lines:

“All of us learn to write in second grade, and most of us go on to better things.”Sports Illustrated, January 1981

“Recruit jackasses, and they play like jackasses.”Sports Illustrated, January 1981

“I, fortunately, have never worried about irritating people.”Indianapolis Monthly, December 1982

“If I were in charge, I’d drug test all you sons of bitches, not just the athletes.” —Addressing IU students in A Season on the Brink

“A B.S. is just what it stands for. An M.S. is More of the Same. A Ph.D is Piled Higher and Deeper.”A Season on the Brink

“For me to get an award from the press, I know there’s been no favoritism.” —After being named AP Coach of the Year in 1989

“We are going to redshirt Patrick [Knight] next year, so he’ll have me as a coach for five years. When Patrick is done, having me as a father and a coach, Patrick Knight will undoubtedly have the most blistered ass in the history of basketball.”Herald Times, 1991

“People want national championship banners. People want to talk about Indiana being competitive. How do we get there? We don’t get there with milk and cookies.”Herald Times, 1994

“When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want them to bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass.” —Addressing the crowd during senior day ceremonies in 1994



Comiskey joined the magazine in 2006, shortly after completing an MA in journalism at Indiana University. During graduate school, he served as arts & culture editor of the Indiana Alumni Magazine and wrote for newspapers throughout the state. Comiskey’s long-form features have won a number of Society of Professional Journalists Awards, and have taken him inside sperm banks, across the country in a semi, and to the home of the world’s smallest books. He lives in Broad Ripple.

Email him at [email protected]
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