Unspoken Rules: March Madness Hooky

A manner-festo for skipping work and watching hoops.
• Schedule home plumbing work for the third Thursday in March.
• St. Elmo’s Beefsteak—which is organized for March Madness viewing, and mostly men-only—takes place March 16.
• The ladies’ version is the same day at the northside Harry and Izzy’s. Both events are sold out already. Kiss up to your boss for an invitation.
• Stream on your phone at your desk, and use headphones. Every now and again, talk loudly about “leveraging our core strengths.”
• Shut off geotagging on social media. “2 p.m.: Jim is at The Tilted Kilt” is a pretty solid giveaway.