Photo by Madison Mascare
Hi, HGTV fans! Thanks for dropping by for another recap from Good Bones Season 5. I’m Megan Fernandez, and I often write about homes for Indianapolis Monthly. My design-snob colleagues Josh Cox and Kristin Sims are here, too, pointing out the truly important stuff.
This week’s episode was titled “Chelsea Vibes in Old Southside,” but there were lots of good options, like:
- Welcome to the Pee House!
- It Is a Bit Ripe.
- WHY DID YOU OPEN THE FRIDGE?
Two Chicks and a Hammer tackled a double in the emerging Old Southside, south of downtown. It was full of the previous occupant’s junk, including a bottle of syrup left on a nightstand. The oak floors were lost to urine. You could practically smell the funk when Karen opened the refrigerator. I thought I saw human flesh inside, but it was probably a plastic bag. This house is a standard double. We’ve all been in a house just like this in Indianapolis—living and dining rooms separated by a wide opening, kitchen in the back, and three bedrooms and one bath upstairs in a hallway. I lived in one for 20 years, so I saw the surprise $15,000 sewer-line replacement coming. It’s fun to see a familiar layout so dramatically transformed. They flipped the kitchen and dining room so the kitchen is in the middle of the house and added French doors to a side yard. I never would have thought to do either of those things. Made me totally forget about the horror fridge.
After a Father’s Day BBQ with nephews and meeting their chickens, Falcon, Goldie, and Vulture, I was instantly obsessed with Karen’s flock. She introduced Braveheart the rooster in the most Karen way possible, on her shoulder like a parrot. Speaking of Karen, did either of you think she was wearing a turban during demo day? I think I was just willing it to exist in my mind.
In my continued love of the way this show highlights Indy, I was so excited to see the Rottman/Collier duo as they determined load-bearing walls. And the Blice/Edwards mural on an old Angie’s List building off East Washington Street.
I’ve spent many a weekend party at a double with this layout. That sexy fireplace surround in the living room, with a small price tag ($300), just sings from the moment you walk in the front door. Now if I could only put together what famous buddies our comedic relief, Corey and Tad, remind me of each time their together. This week I get very Han Solo and Chewie vibes, though I’ll let you decide who is who.
I commend Mina for sharing her fertility struggles with the world. Her choice to be this vulnerable to the audience helps lend a voice to someone or to couples who may feel like they’re alone. Kudos to Mina and Steve for opening up their lives in such a way. And I look forward to the reveal of an impending conception that felt foreshadowed in this episode.
Braveheart is too much for me. After all of the great shots of Indy, making us look like a cool city, Braveheart—especially carried on the shoulder—seems to bring our image right back to corn pone and Henry Lee Summer. I was, however, happy that Braveheart survived the paint fumes from Episode 1.
While I thought the stairway was interesting texture in the kitchen, all I could think of was shoe-ick and dust bunnies occasionally falling onto the counter below. I would, however, do some questionable things to fit a 10-foot island into my midcentury galley kitchen.