Remember that SNL sketch where Chris Farley interviews Paul McCartney, and he’s such a massive Beatles fan that he can’t do anything except stammer helplessly, bring up incredibly basic facts about their history, and pointlessly note how cool they were? Have you ever wanted to live that out in real life? No? OK, well, I’m sure I can think of something else.
We’re both Detroit guys! Plus, I was merely an infant when the Bad Boys Pistons won their titles so I’m completely willing to side with you against Isiah Thomas if you want to re-litigate the whole thing where he cut Jimmy King. Not to be totally shameless about it, but if you come to the Emmis studios, please bring the baseball bat—my Instagram could use the photo op.
I have so many questions. What was the deal with that series where Garfield wakes up in a totally empty home in the future and ponders the meaning of existence? Were you mad when David Lowery stole that idea for A Ghost Story? Did you purposely set out to spark a generation of arguments about whether Nermal was a boy or a girl? Call me, Jim. I just want to talk.
In keeping with Axl’s newfound political consciousness, this will be an hourlong, in-depth discussion of the various ethical violations and moral transgressions committed in the Trump White House, how to balance speech rights with the precarious nature of democracy in the Twitter era, and the viability of America’s continued military presence in east Africa.
Given the fact that your acting career has spanned the better part of four decades now and one of the most successful television series of all time in Cheers, we’ll have no shortage of material to examine by way of giving you the retrospective you richly deserve. Also, I’ve had a crush on you since my sister rented Troop Beverly Hills when I was 8, and this would just be, like, really special to me.