Every Friday, we post up The Replay, our weekly look at sports. It’s mostly fouls and airballs.
»Falling Flat: Thanks to a federal judge, Patriots QB Tom Brady won’t be punished for his role in Deflategate after all. With the off-field scandal behind us (fingers crossed), let’s look back at the emotional range of Colts fans during the saga through the prism of—what else?—Kanye West GIFs:
»Beating a Dead Horse: Deadspin offers a preview of the Colts for non-Colts fans that features some familiar chestnuts. Drew Magary’s assessment: “The Colts will get their asses waxed in the playoffs again because this team is wholly reliant on Andrew Luck being an indestructible lagoon creature.” Magary also writes that Luck looks like someone whose face was run over with a salt spreader. Speaking of which, take all of this with a grain of that salt—this is a GIF of Magary after an appearance on Food Network’s Chopped:
»Hit (and Miss) List: Sports Illustrated ranked the 100 top NBA players of 2016. Three Pacers make the list, including Paul George (20), newly acquired Monta Ellis (57), and George Hill (80). Former Pacer Roy Hibbert—jettisoned during the offseason to the Lakers for a coupon booklet and some gum—checks in at 95. What does new teammate Kobe Bryant (No. 54 on the list) think of the selection of Hibbert?
»Truth in Advertising: According to a new DirecTV commercial, Andrew Luck has a weird alter ego with a mangy beard. Sounds an awful lot like the guy who plays on Sundays:
»Incomplete: This would be a sicker burn from Colts backup QB Matt Hasselbeck if Luck’s flip-phone—the subject of at least two Twitter accounts—could actually view tweets:
— Evan West (@EvanWest1) August 31, 2015
This one’s better:
— Matt Hasselbeck (@Hasselbeck) August 28, 2015
»Calling Fowl: For some reason, The Dallas Morning News asked Kareem Abdul-Jabbar if he thought Dirk Nowitzki was better than Larry Bird. Like, better at German, maybe. For the record, Kareem says, “No way.”
»Now Read This: Pack a lunch and read Wright Thompson’s 26,000-word feature on New Orleans and Katrina, “Beyond the Breach.”